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Hello, my name is Floich. I currently live in Orion's Belt and I am happilly married to several wives (Including Marie Osmond) and 6,856,973,854 children (All whose mother is Marie Osmond). My pet human manages this site and posts files on what you humans know of our kind. You may be wondering billions of things about us. Well, I am here to disclose that info:

Q: Where do you come from?

A: Zeta Reticculi, We gave an abductee named Betty Hill our road maps.

Q: Why are you here?

A: Because we feel like it.

Q: Why do you abduct people and mutilate cows?

A: Have you ever been cow tipping? I mean, like, duh! and as for abductions we want to give you humans the greatest gift in the universe: Free Enemas!

Q: What do you beings consider Earth to be like?

A: Filthy and terrible! Clean up the damn place you bastards!

Q: What do you think of us?

A: Like puny stupid bugs! We can squash you all in a second!! HA HA HA HAAAAA!!!

Q: Does your kind walk among us?

A: Yes, we come in the form of waitressess, stewardessess, supermodels, and for us males, and New York cab drivers (Not All of them!)

Q: What do you think of such Sci-Fi films such as Independence Day?

A: Pretty damn funny!

Q: If you beings are so intelligent, then why don't you land in Washington D.C.?

A: Our military spy #69 (Code name: M.O.N.I.C.A.) did apply for internship at the White House, and we learned quite a lot of your strange mating preferences and rituals!

Q: What do the crop circles mean?

A: Graffiti such as "Gebidan wuz here"

Q: Have you ever tried making a book?

A: Yes, but Whitley Strieber keeps ripping us off!

Q: Do you listen to Coast to Coast AM?

A: Yes, but we can't get a hold of them during the show!

Q: Why are a lot of drunken rednecks see you guys?

A: They attract us. Alchohol can fuel our ships, we watch Dukes of Hazard, and we like the pretty little stars on the confederate flags.

Now that you understand us more, you can now go back to the Main Page